This is a rather curious title for, actually, this awareness kind of came and kind of didn’t. What do I mean by that?

I grew up with my mum and brother and although I heard the word ‘autism’ and knew my brother needed extra attention yet not having seen or experienced what it’s like otherwise, for me it was ‘normal’.

Only when I went to school did I then hear about my classmates’ stories of their siblings that I realised “ok, my situation is pretty different”. However, it was also very similar. For example, stories of sibling rivalry, fights, difficulties – all of those things my peers talked about and I had that too. Also stories about playing together, discovering the world together, understanding one another on a deeper level – guess what? I had exactly the same as well! So it was the same.. but different.

To give my perspective, my brother was (and is) like any brother. Just with a different outlook on the world and different behaviours and understandings to the majority, yet the sibling-ness to me remains the same. One particular event that I had as a teenager really encapsulates this.

It was my 15th birthday and on the day of my birthday, my mum was giving a lecture about autism in York, England. After a wonderful lunch, we went to her talk and we agreed that I would sit at the back for a few hours. Of course, being the teenager that I was and in need of constant entertainment, I took along my notepad and books expecting to do some doodling or reading at the back. However, as my mum started talking – I immediately became enthralled and interested as I was able to recognise so much of what she was saying. My mum definitely has a unique quality of captivating the audience and explaining complex things in a simple way.

When the talk had finished and we moved on to the Q&A, someone in the audience asked if they could ask me a question. (They knew I was my mum’s daughter). I of course said yes and looked to the woman asking the question. Her question to me was:

“What is it like having an autistic brother?”

I remember to this day the oddness of this question. The only response I could give and would give to this day:

“What do you mean what it’s like? It’s normal.”

Because that’s what it is to me. It’s “normal” and God knows, I hate that word as it implies a certain standard that is a complete illusion but it does explain how I feel about this. After all, you define your own reality and world-view and it will always be different to that of others, anyway. This for me is therefore ‘normal’. And like I mentioned earlier, the fights, the love – all that is part of everyone’s family life and mine as well.

So, yes, I am aware that it’s different to have a sibling with autism (or any other disability or condition), however, that awareness also gives rise to acceptance and becomes the norm.

I will talk later in this series about some of the differences and some experiences of mine however, in this post, I wanted to share what my interpretation is about having a brother with autism.